Need A Spin Doctor?

In the light of Scott Morrison's new plan to propel the Australian economy by promoting emissions slightly less, I believe that we, as the rational and realistic majority, must offer an alternative to this gas led recovery.

It is a fact that anthropogenic climate change is occurring, and its most devastated victims will be the poor and the needy.  Within Australia, poorer communities tend to be further inland - and thus are already at the mercy of prolonged droughts, and drier climate conditions.  Climate change would increase the incidence rates of heat stroke, dehydration, and with worsening bushfires, respiratory diseases.  Furthermore, greater costs will be incurred on those living inland in terms of air conditioning and electricity.  Particularly within the more Northern states, such as Queensland, tropical infectious diseases may become endemic.  

We must note, however, that economic growth is key to improving the livelihood of those most vulnerable.  Therefore, it is our responsibility to act reasonably, to not give into the hysterics of those who would advocate for a complete transformation of our way of life, or the callousness of those who would call for a shrinking of our economy.  

Despite our best efforts, poverty still seems to be highly heritable.  It almost appears as if the poor have undesirable traits, as if they cannot help but be in those morally dubious situations.  Furthermore, the propensity of the poor towards underemployment, and a life of crime indicates that such populations may be unsuited for modern society; their poor mental health outcomes symptomatic of crushing limitations of character.

It is therefore necessary to construct methods of improving and enriching their lives, whilst understanding the inevitable limitations of reform.  We can improve lives, however, we cannot change human nature.

So what would a humanistic and realistic programme look like?  It must tackle at once:  the systemic underemployment faced by the most needy; the poor health outcomes both physical and mental endured by those most vulnerable; the challenge of climate, whose impacts will hurt the frailest of us the most.

As such, a gas powered recovery as currently proposed would not work.  Firstly, it fails to address the climate challenge - one that can be overcome with investments in new technologies, allowing us to maintain and exceed our industrial output.  Secondly, it fails to be a holistic approach, lacking the necessary goals in improving health outcomes.

Welfare systems, such as a cashless welfare plan outlined by the government are unacceptable.  For one, it is highly paternalistic.  If we are to help them, then we must act with compassion and understanding.  For only then, will they see the necessity of our policies.  However, let us not pretend that the cashless welfare system does not have its benefits.  By restricting the purchase of certain unnecessary goods, such as alcohol, the health outcomes of those on welfare will benefit greatly.

So what do they need? 

Research shows that exercise is crucial in improving health outcomes, primarily in the improvement of cardiovascular outcomes.  Furthermore, exercise programmes may serve as a positive replacement for the maladaptive behaviour of drug and alcohol abuse.  

When we speak of creating jobs, and maintaining employment we necessarily mean promoting fulfilling jobs that serve the community.  As it must serve a public good, efforts in producing jobs must occur in healthcare, waste management, construction, essential services, or electricity generation.  We understand that from a cursory glance at the supply-demand curve, true full employment is undesirable, given the need to retain a class of the unemployable so as to reach equilibrium, and thus, any plans will account for this simple economic fact.  Furthermore, as we have explored in the intrinsic shortcomings of the seemingly permanent underclass, it is unlikely that such populations will have the skills needed for high paying jobs.

In targeting climate change, we must recognise the good done by advances in industrial output and processes.  Contrary to the beliefs of the radicals that we must restructure society, and fundamentally alter the processes by which such an issue could have been allowed to occur, we take a more grounded approach.  The systems that have unintentionally led to our current predicament can be the solution to this temporary roadblock in the march of human progress.  One need only look at the innovations conjured up by visionary industrial leaders, such as clean coal, affordable electric cars, and more environmentally friendly cargo ships to see the net benefits private interests have afforded us.  We need only support these innovations wholeheartedly.  The system is not corrupt, and the acts of a few bad apples need not endanger the selfishly altruistic actions of those with the power to invent the panacea for our climate woes.

Given these prerequisites, what do we propose?

We will require a new social policy, with a scope rivalled only by the New Deal.  We shall create jobs, promote physical activity, and create clean new energy infrastructure with the implementation of human powered generators.

By utilising the resources pooled in the underemployed, we shall be able to create pedal operated generators.  This will provide ample exercise, and will serve as relatively stress-less, non-sedentary occupations for those most at risk of cardiovascular diseases.  The public good served by our employees will be a source of satisfaction and self accomplishment - offsetting any maladaptive behaviours.  In order to not stress the budget of our government, so as to spend within our means, they shall be provided with coupons in lieu of money.  This will ensure that such populations do not relapse into unhealthy coping methods.  Furthermore, the caloric requirements of these new employees will enable us to further subsidise our agricultural industries, once again improving the economic output of our nation.  

We also recognise the growing issue of homelessness.  With our policy, such employees will be able to live within their workplaces, their generators having enough space to fit an adult member of Homo Sapiens adequately.  Their close proximity to one another will serve to combat feelings of isolation and loneliness endemic within modern society.  This constant observation from their peers will also reduce antisocial behaviours which are, as covered previously, quite prevalent within their group.  

These generators will comprise of a set of pedals connected to a generator.  As opposed to using thermal energy to convert into electricity, the worker will use mechanical force to push the pedals, generating electricity.  These systems will be connected into a network so as to provide enough power for industrial and domestic purposes.  A semi opaque container will envelop all employees - this will double as shelter against the elements as well as a means to prevent outside distraction.

We estimate that this programme will provide employment for 60% of the currently unemployed.  All left unemployed will serve as investments for new employees, given that as stated earlier, their conditions appear to be heritable.  

With one single stroke, we shall combat poverty, we shall fight off climate change, and we shall provide prosperity to future generations. 

And remember:  the system that impoverished us will surely enrich us eventually!